Believe Me, You'll Want to Pin This. And Read It.

Places I Can't Wait to Visit. 
Puppies are so Cute! 
Braids and Sexy Updos. 
Party Pleasing Recipes. 
Parenting Ideas for Starting the School Year off Right. 
Quotes to Live By.

If statements like these make sense to you, then you, my friend, are a pinner.

Yes, you have the same disease I do. Pinterestisis. It is a fast-moving virus, quickly taking over key parts of your body, like your fingers, your eyes and your brain.  You are compulsed to search categories like, "images of Channing Tatum," "slow cooker recipes," "fall decorations," and the highly addictive "funny sayings on ecards."

Then, despite all the time you've already wasted, you can't turn your eyes away, even when they are bleary with tears and fatigue, unable to focus on the really cute picture of two kittens laying together on a heart-shaped rug.  You think to yourself, "If I could only get to the bottom of this page...". Then, you'll find something really interesting.

It affects your brain, too, making you think that all this typing and searching and laughing to yourself and saying things like "that is soooo true..." isn't a monumental waste of time. But, alas, it is.

So to save you time, because I care, I thought I would dive into the Pinterest categories that I find to be the most helpful, relevant and inspirational for my day-to-day life.

1.  Tattoos
2.  Nail polish as art
3.  Animals that I am pretty sure are not real
4.   How to make my own clothes out of oversized t-shirts
5.  Parenting for people with a lot of extra time

1.  Tattoos.  I really never knew how many tattoos were out there in the big wide world until I fired up my Pinterest account.  You can tattoo your face to look just like a skull. This is good for Halloween but bad for job interviews.  I don't know this based on any actual study or science, but I am pretty sure that what I am asserting here is correct.  You can get delicate, lady-like white ink inspirational tattoos with words like "believe" "faith" "pray" or  "never give up" tattooed on your wrist or just below your breast.  You can also get feathers, cupcakes, guns, puppies, maps, chains, and just about any other object tattooed on yourself.  And, in case you are on the fence and wondering, "will this look really silly on me when I'm older?" Here is your answer. Yes. You will look silly.

I can't really think of anything else to say about this...Thanks to The Danja Zone for the awesome pic

2.  Nail polish.  I remember the good old days when it was an accomplishment to just get a manicure. You were really put together if you had a french manicure. And, if you had a pedi too, well then, you really, really had it together. You were the envy of women far and wide. Now, you need nails that are painted like owls, cows, watermelons, chevrons and the ever enduring Hello Kitty.  There should be a website dedicated entirely to photos people take of their nails after attempting one of these recommended manicures.  I am sure that 99.9 percent of these paint jobs look nothing like the inspiration.  It would be sort of like this:

Oh this is so cute. I am going to Pin this and try it at home.

Is this close?  I think it looks sort of the same...my nails aren't as long, but other than that, it looks good, right?

3.  Animals.  Far be it from me to criticize a cute puppy, kitten, giraffe or any other fuzzy mammal that has made its way onto Pinterest. However, I am sure there exists a sub-set of these animals known as "photoshopped creatures." We want them to be real, yet, alas, they are not. They are too small, too cute, their eyes are too glassy to be of actual flesh and blood.  But, we love them anyway.  Why not, right?  This is the modern day version of the posters we grew up with in the 70's where little kittens were playing poker, around a table, wearing hats and smoking cigarettes. 

Who doesn't love the feline version of Leo and Kate on the Titanic deck, feeling like they are kings of the world?

4.  Clothing you can make yourself out of your man's t-shirts.  I think this category is sort of like, "how to live in a post-apocalyptic society".  I am pretty sure I won't start making my own clothing out of Bryan's XL shirts unless I am also hunting for my own food and figuring out how to give myself a strawberry manicure without electricity.

5.  Parenting for people I don't really believe are parents.  If you are the parent of a small brood, as I am, you really don't have time to make annual growth charts or posters that capture their favorites in everything at the start of every school year.  You don't have time to make cakes that have all the colors of the rainbow.  You can't possibly arrange the Elf on the Shelf every day in a different creative scenario, like playing a game with Barbie, getting into the flour (bad elf) or getting stuck in the open toothpaste tube.  And, you can't do all these things because you're too busy actually parenting.  But, nonetheless, we pin and pin and pin ideas that make us feel better about the possibility of parenthood.

After all, isn't that the basic appeal of Pinterest? Creating the aspirational version of ourselves for everyone to see online?  People who follow me (and yet are complete strangers) must think my house is very stylish and that I wear a lot of skinny jeans and cool boots. Or that I make great dinners every day and read a lot.  My Pinterest self is more interesting than my actual self.  My actual self is in yoga pants and a tank top searching Pinterest. Maybe if I start investing as much time in this realm, I can start living up to the realm I've created online. Or maybe I just need to find more really cool stuff on Pinterest...