Sleepless in Dayton, Ohio

Sleepless in Dayton, Ohio

As if I wasn't cranky enough, I opened my most recent issue of Oprah magazine to find out from Dr. Oz that out of the 10 worst things I can do for my health, number two is not getting enough sleep.  Really?  It's only topped by sitting all day.  And, if you're sleep deprived, you are probably spending your waking hours on your ass, not wanting to move.  Because you're tired.

This is not me.  Because I don't sleep and am apparently slowly killing myself.

According to Dr. Oz, not getting the recommended 7-8 hours of sleep every night (does anyone sleep that much?) is going to make me fat, increase my risk of heart problems, screw up my metabolism (hence aforementioned fatness), make me look older, ruin my mood (probably because I look older) and just generally make me a version of myself that no one really wants be around.  All this from not getting seven hours of sleep?

I can rattle off the reasons I don't sleep....you've heard them before.  I am a busy mother of three who juggles work, home life and Facebook/Pinterest/Twitter/Us Magazine. These things take time and focus.  But, behind these very real factors that keep the Sandman at bay, there is more that I guess I need to come to terms with so that I can reverse these years of self-induced deterioration.

First of all, my kids are getting older and they now stay up late.  I have always been a firm believer that I cannot be outlasted by children. They lack the years of experience that I have in staying up late looking for something completely mindless on TV.  With my kids pushing at least 10 or 10:30 before they hit the sheets, what am I supposed to do? I need at least one hour or more to have quiet, to have the remote and to have the couch all to myself.

My real life, real kids. Who wouldn't want to stay up for them?

 Second, I need uninterrupted time to drink wine.  I can drink a glass of wine in front of my kids, but then I get the questions like, "at school we learned that alcohol is bad. Do you drink more than one or two drinks at a time?" If that isn't a buzz kill, I don't know what is. What ever happened to basic math and reading? And, despite every article telling you that alcohol makes it harder to sleep well, who can deny that a glass of cab helps you drift off at least 10 minutes quicker?

I also challenge any couple with young-ish kids to tell me any time they get to "know" each other (as in Adam and Eve) that doesn't involve A) staying up later than you want to B) getting up earlier than you want to or C) going out of town. It's just a basic reality.

Lastly, despite my staying up late and having wine and trying to work in a little quality couple time, I still get up early.  Why?  Because when are we women supposed to work out?  We need to get up at the butt crack of dawn, slog on our running shoes and head out so that we can be back, shower (okay maybe not shower), and get the day started before our hubbies leave for work and our kids get up. I have learned a hard fact of life....if I don't do this early, I don't do it. If you can work out at 3 in the afternoon, good for you!

My good friend Cab

So where does this leave me?  I just hope that because I do exercise and I do drink green smoothies for breakfast every morning and I do have strong social relationships and a happy marriage and all those other things that are good for you, that it will all balance itself out.  Maybe my good habits will pull me from committing the second worst health sin to maybe the fifth or sixth.  Because I still want to stay up late and watch Andy Cohen. The Housewives matter.  I still want an hour of quiet with a glass of wine when my kids are asleep, my house is my own and my floors are free of toys to talk with my husband about our days, our tomorrows and when we might have sex next.

And, as they have always said, I can sleep when I'm six feet under.