Fiona Apple (remember her?) wrote some song lyrics way back in the 90's that have always stuck with me: "Nothing is nearly so heavy as empty..." Our emptiness is a weighty load to carry all by ourselves. And most of us are doing it all the time. Fretting about our kids, job worries, wanting to be happy but feeling like we're failing, concerns about parents getting older, hoping our marriage is strong, thoughts for friends going through hard times. Someone is always grieving. Someone is always hurting. Someone always feels like less than enough. Someone is always lost.
I was weighted down with my own emptiness until you showed up. Yes, you. After my accident, I was left laying on my couch, unable to move, wondering how I would get through the next hour. Then, something amazing happened over the next two months. You helped me.
All the time, people ask me "what did you learn from the accident...what did it teach you?" The honest answer is that the accident taught me a hundred small things - to be thankful, to not take love for granted, to value everyday actions like being able to walk, to relish in moving your body and making it sweat. To put my phone away because people matter more. But, if I had to boil it down to ONE lesson, it would be this: People are powerful.
All by ourselves, each of us, is profoundly powerful. So many of you took the time - which you probably thought didn't really matter - to help me. When you take each individual act in the totality of everyone who reached out, I am left in awe of you. I am humbled by you. I am changed by you.
67 people brought dinner to my family so we could eat together and still have some semblance of normalcy
28 people and clients sent me flowers
I received 126 cards in the mail
I received texts, emails, calls and comments on social media too numerous to count
Countless friends brought me Starbucks
Family and friends served as my taxi service, running errands and taking my kids where they needed to be
People stopped by all the time just to say hi and visit
I had surprise visits
Family and friends spent the night so I would not be alone
Book club, bunko and other events were relocated to my house so I could participate
People prayed for me and my healing
And all of this - the mass of this, buoyed me and carried me from stuck on the couch to floating toward the future. I knew I could do it because of what you did. I actually feel lucky because I had this accident. I feel lucky because it taught me that five minutes of your time really matters. My time matters and I will invest it wisely. I will invest it in you.
I've seen this lesson played out many times this summer, from friends dealing with losses of different kinds to another friend whose dog was stolen from her and then returned due to all the publicity the event garnered. This publicity started because one person shared the story on social media. Then two. Then, literally more than 50,000. 50,000 individual actions changed the course of this dog's life. Our personal actions matter. What we choose to do matters. People are powerful.
These months taught me that experiences that should and could be isolating can actually be fulfilling, expanding, connecting events when people take the time to offer of themselves. I will never ignore a meal request again. I will never not send a card because I think it will just be one of many, I will never not take the time to call someone. Nothing is as heavy as empty. I will always seek to lighten that load because of you. Thank you.
I am so full. And so light.
